“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. (I already love this book.)
It’s time for me to start being honest with myself. Yes, I am happy, but I am also sad. I absolutley loathe this feeling of being alone, even though I know I’m not really alone. I’m never really alone. I cried for a solid thiry minutes last night before remembering that listening to anything acoustic immediately gets me out of any funk (which it did), but this morning I found myself wondering why I got so suddenly upset. Yes, I am a girl, so mood swings are prevalent, but that explanation shouldn’t give me any satisfaction, and it didn’t.
I haven’t found the ability to put 100% of my trust in God yet. I’m stuck with that human desire to have everything go exactlyhowIwantitto and have everything under my own personal control. Thinking this way is so naive, so juvenile, so wrong. Everything happens for a reason, I believe, and because of this I should be able to let go and let whatever will happen, happen. ”What’s meant to be will be.” But my controlling heart will not let go.
Time to grow up.
“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. (I already love this book.)
It’s time for me to start being honest with myself. Yes, I am happy, but I am also sad. I absolutley loathe this feeling of being alone, even though I know I’m not really alone. I’m never really alone. I cried for a solid thiry minutes last night before remembering that listening to anything acoustic immediately gets me out of any funk (which it did), but this morning I found myself wondering why I got so suddenly upset. Yes, I am a girl, so mood swings are prevalent, but that explanation shouldn’t give me any satisfaction, and it didn’t.
I haven’t found the ability to put 100% of my trust in God yet. I’m stuck with that human desire to have everything go exactlyhowIwantitto and have everything under my own personal control. Thinking this way is so naive, so juvenile, so wrong. Everything happens for a reason, I believe, and because of this I should be able to let go and let whatever will happen, happen. ”What’s meant to be will be.” But my controlling heart will not let go.
Time to grow up.
“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
1 comment:
I love you, I love you, I love you. If you draw near to God he WILL draw near to you. If you ask for truth you will receive it. Keep praying that you will trust and he will ease you.
Post a Comment