(I’ve come to realize that I’m much more introspective when I’ve had a bad day/evening/hour. And with that introspectiveness seems to come more creativity. Not that I have much of that; it sure comes and goes.)
I had a wonderful day hanging out with my best friend, something that I hadn’t done for quite some time. But as the sun began to fall, evening plans began to fall apart and people became grouchy. I had been ditched - me grumpy. Made other plans, those fell apart - friend grouchy. I stopped talking during “important” argument - boyfriend grouchy. But he’s the one who ditched me in the first place, so it’s all a giant circle…
I have this problem where I apologize too much. I feel like if I just apologize, even if the reason someone is upset wasn’t my fault, they won’t be sad anymore. Sometimes I wish other people had that problem too. I think that’s at the fault of the people-pleasing part of me. It’s not a large part, but it’s there. Though I am unwilling to change myself for someone else I want so badly for them to like me for who I actually am.
So come the apologies. While my mouth is saying “I’m sorry,” my heart is saying “Just like me. Forget why you’re angry, and remember why you’re my friend.”
Shake it off! My chin is up. Life. Goes. On.
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